Have you ever had one of those periods when events came together in just the right way to give you real insight? Well, if you haven’t – pay attention because someday it will happen to you; and if you have, you will appreciate that you are not the only one!
The major event was that an elderly aunt lost her partner. At 84-years-old, she was at their home in Florida when Joe died, but his desire was to be returned back to Indiana to be buried. This woman, Doris, had never taken care of any of the household or financial business, nor had she ever flown in an airplane. She was at a loss and alone in Florida. Joe and Doris were not married, but had been together for decades.
The second event was a phone call from Debbie. She is a sandwich generation professional woman in her mid-50s who called me at Keeping In Touch Solutions. In our conversation Debbie explained that her widowed mother had always been very independent and capable, but she had recently gotten involved with a “charity” and had started to “donate” money to the group on a regular basis. Debbie was worried that Mom was getting scammed and wanted help with the situation as well as how to talk with her mom about it.
There are no stereotypical older women who live alone – and there are no one-size-fits-all ways to step in and help them. I wish there were, but I love the fact that every aging woman has her own personality, strengths – and challenges. After all, that’s what makes us human, isn’t it?
So, the convergence of these events over the course of a couple of days gave me the following insights:
These are just two of the insights that have taken human form this week in Doris and Debbie’s mom. But this situation is all too common and we have to be aware of it. We can’t change aging women – they are who they are, but we have to help them help themselves and provide assistance in protecting themselves and their assets.
It doesn’t matter whether your aging lady was an independent professional woman or a homemaker most of their lives, she, more than likely, wants to be viewed as independent and capable. So when the topic of conversation comes around to diminishing life skills, hackles go up and she is defensive and maybe even combative. How do you work with that? Let me give you a few suggestions:
When emergencies strike unexpectedly is not the time to try to reorganize the routine of life, especially for the aging. That’s part of the reason that I founded Keeping In Touch Solutions, Love My New Freedom, and Senior Fraud Alert. Not only does each one meet a need of aging adults, they are all proactive, non-intrusive, and proactive.
Aging doesn’t have to be the problem. In fact, aging is just another stage of our lives. Let’s stop treating it like it’s a bad thing. It doesn’t have to be.
A daily check-in call could be the lifeline, the joy you give someone that makes the biggest difference in their perception of what old age is like.
Contact me at 317-480-1038 today. Let’s make a difference together.
I’m Diana Beam, Founder of Keeping in Touch Solutions. It is my heartfelt desire for every person to live a happy and healthy life in the place they call home, no matter what their age. You can’t put a price on peace of mind for your parents and yourself. It’s priceless . . . and significant.
For that reason, the goal of every Keeping In Touch Solutions program is to provide a caring connection and service that both the elderly and their caregivers can rely on to make living that good life easier.